When I was pregnant with my first, it seems everyone gave me the same advice “enjoy every minute”. Soak up everything about this new born baby, even when its exhausting, and even when it’s hard. In my naivety I thought, "of course I’m going to enjoy every minute, this parenting thing is going to be beautiful, and covered in cute baby clothes, diaper bags and loving family snuggles on the couch.
The advice I remember most, though came from a family member who I’d least expect it from. A supermom who seems 100% focused on her kids and like she has been killing this Mom thing from day one. I remember her saying, “a few days after I had my first son, I remember thinking ‘what have I done to my life’, you call me if you ever need to talk and I promise you things start to get easier after a while”.
I thought about her every time things got hard in those first few weeks, and holy crap if they didn’t get hard. I thought of her when my birth didn’t go so well and as I lay in the hospital for way longer than any of us had planned. I called her when nursing became an hourly struggle and set me into fits of tears. I called her when my 2 month old had his first round of shots and didn’t stop crying all.day.long.
Its as if she was the only one that gave me permission for this whole “bringing a baby into the world thing” to be hard. Her truthful words rang in my ears over and over again as I got through the rocky road of becoming a mother, the massive shift that comes with all of a sudden being responsible for another person’s life.
She gave me permission to mourn my old life and supported me through figuring out this new one. I figured if she, this incredible Mom, had these feelings, if things were hard for her, then just maybe I wasn’t crazy and maybe I would get through.
I now feel obligated to spread this truth to pregnant, soon-to-be-Moms. I want them to know that those first 8 weeks or are quite a doozy, but that they will get into the swing of things. I want them to let know that they can call me when things get hard, that I am here if they need to cry. I want them to know that its okay for this to be hard, that most of motherhood is beautiful and hard at the same time and that to acknowledge both is okay and only makes them human . I want them to know that they don’t have to “enjoy every minute”.
